Kid's Electronics Christmas Contract

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(Updated from 12-2012) Since first publishing this Kid's Electronics Christmas Contract in 2012, I've been delighted but not necessarily surprised at how many nervous parents have downloaded it. We're all in this child-rearing boat together,…

The Top 6 Ways to Cope When Your Teenager Drives Solo the First Time

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The day that your teenager gets their driver’s license and drives a substantial distance solo for the first time is interesting for a parent. There are other adjectives I could’ve chosen other than “interesting.” Appropriate choices would also be horrifying, terrifying, nauseating, and post-traumatic-stress inducing.

The Tooth Fairy: What the Heck Were We Thinking?

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There are several culturally sanctioned lies we tell our children. Y’know, things that are clearly made-up and not true. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, “We'll take a vacation to Disney World one summer soon,” are all examples. These fibs are fun and well-meaning, but untruths nonetheless. Don’t worry, I’m not judging. I’m all for them and participate enthusiastically. Of the Tooth Fairy, however, I’m not a huge fan. The concept that a supernatural being — perhaps a tiny, sparkly woman with wings — flutters into a child’s bedroom late at night, collects the still-bloody, newly extracted tooth from directly underneath the kid’s head, and replaces it with quite real currency…well... It’s just weird.

The Top 6 Ways for Dads to Avoid Pissing Off Their Teenaged Daughters

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Few things in life are more confusing and scary for a dad than a teenaged daughter. It's just true. When our daughters are cooing babies, Dads develop an idealistic fantasy that the father/daughter bond will strengthen into one of those “You…

The Top 11 Things Every First-Time Dad Should Know

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As a wildly experienced father of three who is a master of every parenting nuance, I felt it was time for me to impart some of my wisdom to all you new daddies out there. Upon the birth of a first child, we all feel a little unprepared (slang for completely freaked out of our minds) and it helps to have access to a little friendly advice, even from a doofus.

I wanna be Dick Proenneke when I grow up

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"Alone in the Wilderness," the documentary about Alaskan naturalist Richard "Dick" Proenneke (pronounced prin-uh-key) is one of the most remarkable films ever made, in my estimation. Yes, I know that's an ambitious statement, but I stand…