The Top 10 truths about winter storms in the South

, ,
We're going on Day 6 of the Great Wintery-Mix Storm of 2015.  Because we're all essentially trapped in our homes, Americans on the lower-right side of the map have all taken to social media to air their witticisms and smart-aleck remarks…

The Top 15 Indispensable Christmas Songs

, ,
  (Originally post 12/4/12.  Updated.) Due to the brisk response I received to my “Top 10 Christmas Shows” post, I decided to tackle a song list. As a music guy and a Christmas freak, it was impossible for me to narrow…

The Top 10 Christmas Shows, period, the end.

, , , ,
If you're like me, you don't need any help deciding which Christmas shows to watch.  You know what you like and what you don't. So why would you come here to read my "Top 10 Christmas Shows, period, the end"?  Easy.  So you can either…

The Top 10 Things I'm Offended, Shocked, and/or Outraged By, 2.0

,
I'm updating this blog a bit in light of the latest explosion of social media outrage. I'll write something entirely new for the next round of outrage, which I'm sure will be coming in, like, five minutes from now. In the United States,…

My Top 9 Ironclad Tips for Tough Mudder Virgins

,
I became aware of the Tough Mudder a few years ago after discovering Crossfit and completing a couple of Warrior Dashes.  In case you’ve never heard of the Tough Mudder, it’s a 10- to 12-mile mud and obstacle run, infamous for being…

Top 5 Passage-of-Time Discrepancies Related to Crossfit

, ,
I think I may actually be a science genius. I make this bold statement because I've taken notice of a strange discrepancy in the natural laws of time and space.  There are some activities in life, I've deciphered using scientific method,…

Top 9 reasons why I should be the 'Face of Crossfit' instead of Rich Froning

, , ,
So Froning is essentially the “Face of Crossfit." The Reebok/Crossfit people must be living charmed lives, because Froning is handsome, articulate, funny, and by all accounts, a very nice guy. However, I’ve given this some serious thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I, Mark Johnson, would be a better “Face of Crossfit" than Mr. Froning. Here are the top 9 reasons why.

My Top 6 Driving Idiots

,
The older I get, the more I realize that my own thoughts and experiences aren't as unique as I once believed.  In fact, I've decided that most everybody thinks pretty much the same thoughts.  All day long we're thinking the same stuff while we each think we're thinking different stuff.  Know what I mean? With that in mind, I wondered if you have some of the same driving pet peeves as me.  I bet you do.  I know this because I suspect you're like me — a considerate driver whose goal is to navigate the human legion of ignoramuses each morning and evening without making a trip to the body shop or hospital.  So in ascending order of malfeasance, here's my list of the Top 6 Driving Idiots.

Top 12 reasons why this 47-year-old HATES Crossfit

,
After nearly three years in, I have a love/hate relationship with Crossfit. It's mostly hate. The majority of my 47 years were blissfully Crossfit-free, and I lived out my days happy and free of the dread associated with upcoming workouts and the soreness associated with past workouts.  It was all good.  (Except for the whole fat, weak, undisciplined, out-of-shape, crappy-quality-of-life part of it.)

The Top 10 Lame-Ass Reasons Not to Exercise

,
Here are the Top 10 Lame-Ass Reasons not to exercise, as I see them.  It's not an official list compiled by the We're Better Than You Exercisers of America or anything.  These are reasons I've heard most often from friends, family, and…