Funny Stories for Dads

I’ll provide the funny stories. All you have to do is read ’em and laugh. It’s OK. I’ll wait for the game to end.

Why do dads need to laugh? In case you haven’t noticed, today’s dads are often marginalized in popular media. Watch any TV commercial. We’re usually portrayed as bumbling doofuses. In my case, it’s probably true, but I doubt it’s entirely accurate in your situation. You work hard to provide for your family and set a loving example for your children. It’s OK to relax and laugh every once in a while, right? Dads of the world unite! (Right after loading the dishwasher…)

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MARK’S LATEST BOOK

“BLOW THE MAN DOWN” is a hilarious romp through the 1980s and ’90s music business, both in Nashville and the mysterious Virgin Island of ill repute, St. Croix. Go to the book page or order your copy now!

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Doofus Dad Does Everest Base Camp

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Latest Blog Post

037: Why being a dad is scary

Podcast Episode, Season 2

Being a dad can be downright scary, and I’m not just talking about the baby stuff. How you appear in the eyes of your impressionable 12-year-old son or daughter can be as terrifying as driving a newborn home from the hospital. Let me explain…

April 18, 2021/0 Comments/by Mark Johnson

Lists

025: My Top 6 Reasons Why Sending Your Kid to College is Weird and Unsettling

Children, Lists, Podcast Episode, Season 1

Of the many milestones in the life of a parent, sending your kid to college ranks high in terms of both pride and angst. In other words, it will freak you the hell out. Here are my top 6 reasons why.

PODCAST VERSION: Doofus Dad’s Top 9 Handy & Useful Tricks for Dealing with the Coronavirus

Lists, Season 1

Blog Version: Doofus Dad’s Top 9 Handy & Useful Tricks for Dealing with the Coronavirus

Health and fitness, Lists, Observations

Disclaimer: The following is me poking fun of something that is clearly serious and bad. I am aware that it is serious and bad, but choose to poke fun at it anyway because, well, I need to. You have now been legally disclaimed. As I write…

Health and fitness stuff? Boom.

Along the 'Elephant Skin' Trail to Thukla

Health and fitness, Nashville to Nepal, Writing

As we topped a wide slope, the vista before us revealed our task: we would be walking along a gently rising ridge situated adjacent to a massif of snowy peaks with a valley in between.

The Fiery Gizzard Trail: Certa Mors.

Health and fitness, Nashville to Nepal, Writing

Last weekend, upon the suggestions of trek member Luis, we brazenly decided to tackle the Fiery Gizzard Trail, known as one of the Top 25 hikes in the nation. The full trail is around 12.5 miles long and is rated "strenuous," which in Latin, means "certa mors," which then translated back into English, means "certain death." Not knowing this, I just assumed it actually meant "strenuous," which is kind of a nebulous word and not to be taken too seriously.

The Top 10 Reasons I Might Not Work Out Today

Health and fitness, Lists

People have all kinds of excuses for not working out. I mean, there are thousands of them, take your pick. They are usually weak, baseless, transparent, laughable, and just plain ol' lame. In fact, I wrote a blog about them a while back. (Read…

Children and parenting? Here you go.

My Top 10 Dad Tips for Incoming College Freshmen

Children, Dads, Lists

In a few short weeks, our oldest son, Sam, will be heading off to college. It’s one of those huge milestones in the life of both child and parent, and everybody is just a little freaked out. My do-gooder wife, Holly, is freaked out over…

The Top 10 Awkward Pre-School Moments for Dads

Children, Dads, Lists

Fatherhood is a lot easier in theory than in practice. Prior to actually meeting and interacting with their first kid, most first-time fathers imagine themselves as a combination of Sheriff Andy Taylor from “The Andy Griffith Show” and…

Kid's Electronics Christmas Contract

Children, Christmas, Dads, Observations

(Updated from 12-2012) Since first publishing this Kid's Electronics Christmas Contract in 2012, I've been delighted but not necessarily surprised at how many nervous parents have downloaded it. We're all in this child-rearing boat together,…

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