The Top 5 ways to know you’re too political

If you have a scowl on your face every time you look in the mirror, and you’re losing friends on social media at an alarming rate, there might be a problem. You may be too political. Here’s a surefire way to find out.

My Top 5 Ways to Know You’re Too Political

So, it’s Friday the 13^th and the election is over. Kind of. But the madness continues. Across America and the world, people are still shouting the same stuff at one another, only with a slightly different narrative and with no less passion and gnashing of teeth than in the weeks leading up to November 3, 2020.

It seems that Republicans and Democrats are two stubborn whitetail bucks who, after banging heads for months, have finally locked antlers and are now in a desperate battle to get loose from one another. Now, those outdoorspeople among us know that in real life, this often results in the agonizing death of both combatants. Just pointing that out…

This has had me worried about my kids, two of whom are now in college. When you become an adult, you are inundated with life choices that must be sorted out. What will I do for a living? How will I present myself to the world? Will I have religious faith and how will that manifest itself? How about sexual orientation? For that matter, how about gender? Am I a girl or a guy? (This seems to be something that people choose, these days, which I guess I’m not quite evolved enough to understand, but that’s a topic for another podcast.)

Young people have to decide where they come down on hot button issues like abortion and immigration and climate change, and this, of course, leads to politics. Am I liberal or conservative or something else? Or should I just ignore the whole thing?

I can see where this must be tough for a young person. If you watch any television news at all these days or scroll through social media, you will likely be led to believe that the world revolves around politics alone. It is all-invasive, creeping over us like an insidious, seething mass of angry kudzu.

Can we escape politics? No. I don’t think so, at least. Even Usain Bolt isn’t fast enough to outrun politics. For me, the more important question is: How political should we be?

OK, that might be impossible to answer, so let me rephrase the question: How do you know when you’re too political?

Now, we’re getting somewhere. Here are my Top 5 Ways to Know You’re Too Political.

5. You bring it up in casual conversation.

As a kid, I was taught that some topics were not proper to bring up in casual conversation. For example, you shouldn’t ask someone how much money they make or how much their house cost. Never ask a grown woman her age. And don’t bring up politics around people unless you are 100-percent sure that their political leanings align with your own. I am amazed, these days, how often folks simply assume you are a conservative or liberal due simply to your occupation, friend group, religion, or some other unrelated identifier. If you are expressing a political view in a conversation with a relative stranger, you’re too political.

4. You think you’re changing people’s minds on social media.

I’ve covered this ground somewhat in other posts, so I won’t beat a dead horse here, but it seems that a large swath of social media users have convinced themselves that by repeatedly posting snarky memes, making aggressive political declarations, and trolling Facebook and Twitter like a hungry leopard, ready to pounce on the first unsuspecting conservative or liberal impala that blunders underneath their tree, that they are changing the other side’s mind.

They aren’t. Nobody is changing anyone’s mind on social media. You aren’t. I’m not. Nobody is. Wait, maybe the Russians are. They seem to be pretty persuasive, with their bright lights and tempting bottles of vodka. But nobody here in America is. If you believe you are, it means you’re too political.

3. You choose it over friends and family.

I’m under no allusion that friends and even family members must remain on the closest of terms from Day 1 until death. That’s not how life goes. People move in and out of each other’s lives, and that’s OK. However, I personally don’t think that political difference should be THE variable that destroys an otherwise good relationship with someone. Let that be about something important, like sports. If your espousal of a political view is alienating your friends and family — and you know it — you’re too political. It’s not their fault. It’s yours.

2. You view the other side as a doomsday cult.

If we consume enough media — social, podcasts, television, whatever — and believe that what it tells us is 100-percent true, it’s easy to genuinely view the other political side as evil turdheads who are bent on destroying the world from their lavish underwater lair. Remember, most large media outlets have their own financial agendas, so stirring the pot is how these people have jobs. If you can’t use simple common sense to weed through the rhetoric, you’re too political.

And my No. 1 way to know you’re too political…

1. It becomes the most important thing in your life.

Sure, I know politics are important. Of course they are. I think it is our patriotic duty to vote every time an election come up, even if we have to hold our nose to do it. But unless politics account for your actual source of income — like, you’re a paid lobbyist or you work for an elected official or you are an elected official — life should be about other things, good things, happy things. Spending your precious and numbered days forever pissed off over who is in office or who isn’t or what law is still on the books or what law should be is no way to go through life, in my opinion.

Before dementia took over, my dad would devote hours on the phone with me complaining about politics and warning what would happen if the other side regained power, etc., etc. I finally told him one day, “Dad, unless you’re gonna run for office, there’s nothing else to do but to go cast your vote. Now if you don’t mind, I’d rather talk about the kids or fishing or how the Braves are doing.” For him, politics had become close to the most important thing in life and, looking back, in makes me a little sad to think about how much time he invested in being frustrated about it.

My opinion is this: America is still a free country where people can have different views on things, so let’s respect that and move the hell on. If you just can’t do that — sorry… You’re too political.