
A Walmart horror story
DadsThe man felt weak. Exhausted.
Artificial light radiated down from twenty feet above, sucking his life force away and dispersing it harmlessly among the dusty rafters of the enormous building.
He propped his forearms on the curved handle of…

My Top 10 Dad Tips for Incoming College Freshmen
Children, Dads, ListsIn a few short weeks, our youngest son, Pete, will be heading off to college. It’s one of those huge milestones in the life of both child and parent, and everybody is just a little freaked out.
My do-gooder wife, Holly, is freaked out over…

Doofus Dad’s Foolproof Guide to Setting Up a Home Office
Dads, Observations, WorkSome types of jobs lend themselves to home-based offices while others do not. For example, if your goal is to make your living as a copywriter or an e-marketer, home-based work is a great option. All you need is a laptop computer, an empty lap,…

The Top 10 Awkward Pre-School Moments for Dads
Children, Dads, ListsFatherhood is a lot easier in theory than in practice.
Prior to actually meeting and interacting with their first kid, most first-time fathers imagine themselves as a combination of Sheriff Andy Taylor from “The Andy Griffith Show” and…

Kid’s Electronics Christmas Contract
Children, Christmas, Dads, Observations(Updated from 12-2012)
Since first publishing this Kid's Electronics Christmas Contract in 2012, I've been delighted but not necessarily surprised at how many nervous parents have downloaded it. We're all in this child-rearing boat together,…

The Top 6 Ways to Cope When Your Teenager Drives Solo the First Time
Children, Dads, ListsThe day that your teenager gets their driver’s license and drives a substantial distance solo for the first time is interesting for a parent. There are other adjectives I could’ve chosen other than “interesting.” Appropriate choices would also be horrifying, terrifying, nauseating, and post-traumatic-stress inducing.

The Tooth Fairy: What the Heck Were We Thinking?
Children, DadsThere are several culturally sanctioned lies we tell our children. Y’know, things that are clearly made-up and not true. Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, “We'll take a vacation to Disney World one summer soon,” are all examples. These fibs are fun and well-meaning, but untruths nonetheless. Don’t worry, I’m not judging. I’m all for them and participate enthusiastically. Of the Tooth Fairy, however, I’m not a huge fan. The concept that a supernatural being — perhaps a tiny, sparkly woman with wings — flutters into a child’s bedroom late at night, collects the still-bloody, newly extracted tooth from directly underneath the kid’s head, and replaces it with quite real currency…well... It’s just weird.

The Top 6 Ways for Dads to Avoid Pissing Off Their Teenaged Daughters
Children, Dads, ListsFew things in life are more confusing and scary for a dad than a teenaged daughter. It's just true.
When our daughters are cooing babies, Dads develop an idealistic fantasy that the father/daughter bond will strengthen into one of those “You…

The Top 11 Things Every First-Time Dad Should Know
Children, Dads, ListsAs a wildly experienced father of three who is a master of every parenting nuance, I felt it was time for me to impart some of my wisdom to all you new daddies out there. Upon the birth of a first child, we all feel a little unprepared (slang for completely freaked out of our minds) and it helps to have access to a little friendly advice, even from a doofus.

I wanna be Dick Proenneke when I grow up
Dads, Health and fitness, Observations
"Alone in the Wilderness," the documentary about Alaskan naturalist Richard "Dick" Proenneke (pronounced prin-uh-key) is one of the most remarkable films ever made, in my estimation.
Yes, I know that's an ambitious statement, but I stand…
