Is Crossfit a “white people fad”?

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A few days ago, I received this response to my blog, "The Top 12 Reasons Why this 47-Year-Old HATES Crossfit." While it seemed like a strange comment for that particular blog, I thought it was a fair question. Who wants to respond…

Top 5 Passage-of-Time Discrepancies Related to Crossfit

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I think I may actually be a science genius. I make this bold statement because I've taken notice of a strange discrepancy in the natural laws of time and space.  There are some activities in life, I've deciphered using scientific method,…

Burpees or back surgery: you decide!

My back hurts. As I write this, I'm shifting around in my office chair to find a comfortable position, because couple of hours ago, I completed a Crossfit WOD (workout of the day) that involved a bunch of deadlifts.  It's funny that…

Crossfit and aging: The value is in the TRYING

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On August 27 of 2013, I wrote a satirical blog called “Top 12 Reasons Why This 47-year-old HATES Crossfit.”  It wasn't any big statement, but just an attempt to crack up my wife, which is the goal of the majority of my writing.  As…

Top 9 reasons why I should be the ‘Face of Crossfit’ instead of Rich Froning

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So Froning is essentially the “Face of Crossfit." The Reebok/Crossfit people must be living charmed lives, because Froning is handsome, articulate, funny, and by all accounts, a very nice guy. However, I’ve given this some serious thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I, Mark Johnson, would be a better “Face of Crossfit" than Mr. Froning. Here are the top 9 reasons why.

A Write Smart hits 100K!

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Well, I’ve got a right smart of friends, and this proves it!  Thanks to an incredible community of über-creative readers who enjoy hard workouts, great writing (not mine, necessarily), a little satire (mostly mine), and laughing their…

Trail run – 1, Johnson – 0

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I awoke one Saturday morning in September, rolled over, grabbed my phone, and checked the Crossfit workout of the day. "I ain't doing that #*$%," I believe were my first words of the day. I'm not proud of the language nor do I condone…

Top 12 reasons why this 47-year-old HATES Crossfit

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After nearly three years in, I have a love/hate relationship with Crossfit. It's mostly hate. The majority of my 47 years were blissfully Crossfit-free, and I lived out my days happy and free of the dread associated with upcoming workouts and the soreness associated with past workouts.  It was all good.  (Except for the whole fat, weak, undisciplined, out-of-shape, crappy-quality-of-life part of it.)

The Top 10 Lame-Ass Reasons Not to Exercise

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Here are the Top 10 Lame-Ass Reasons not to exercise, as I see them.  It's not an official list compiled by the We're Better Than You Exercisers of America or anything.  These are reasons I've heard most often from friends, family, and…

The Top 11 things a Crossfit virgin should know

So you've got a buddy at work who began doing some crazy fitness fad called "Crossfit" last year, and now, it's all he can talk about. He keeps encouraging you to give it a try and swears you'll enjoy it. "You'll be hooked after a week,"…