The Top 10 Things I’m Offended, Shocked, and/or Outraged By, 2.0

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I'm updating this blog a bit in light of the latest explosion of social media outrage. I'll write something entirely new for the next round of outrage, which I'm sure will be coming in, like, five minutes from now. In the United States,…

Is Crossfit a “white people fad”?

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A few days ago, I received this response to my blog, "The Top 12 Reasons Why this 47-Year-Old HATES Crossfit." While it seemed like a strange comment for that particular blog, I thought it was a fair question. Who wants to respond…

Top 5 Passage-of-Time Discrepancies Related to Crossfit

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I think I may actually be a science genius. I make this bold statement because I've taken notice of a strange discrepancy in the natural laws of time and space.  There are some activities in life, I've deciphered using scientific method,…

First ‘Unbroken’ trailer has me FREAKED OUT, period.

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This is more of a heads-up than a real blog.   In perusing Facebook as a defense mechanism to "The Bachelor," to which my wife and daughter are hopelessly addicted and currently watching on DVR, I just ran across this, the first trailer…

Crossfit and aging: The value is in the TRYING

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On August 27 of 2013, I wrote a satirical blog called “Top 12 Reasons Why This 47-year-old HATES Crossfit.”  It wasn't any big statement, but just an attempt to crack up my wife, which is the goal of the majority of my writing.  As…

Top 9 reasons why I should be the ‘Face of Crossfit’ instead of Rich Froning

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So Froning is essentially the “Face of Crossfit." The Reebok/Crossfit people must be living charmed lives, because Froning is handsome, articulate, funny, and by all accounts, a very nice guy. However, I’ve given this some serious thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I, Mark Johnson, would be a better “Face of Crossfit" than Mr. Froning. Here are the top 9 reasons why.

A Write Smart hits 100K!

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Well, I’ve got a right smart of friends, and this proves it!  Thanks to an incredible community of über-creative readers who enjoy hard workouts, great writing (not mine, necessarily), a little satire (mostly mine), and laughing their…

My Top 6 Driving Idiots

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The older I get, the more I realize that my own thoughts and experiences aren't as unique as I once believed.  In fact, I've decided that most everybody thinks pretty much the same thoughts.  All day long we're thinking the same stuff while we each think we're thinking different stuff.  Know what I mean? With that in mind, I wondered if you have some of the same driving pet peeves as me.  I bet you do.  I know this because I suspect you're like me — a considerate driver whose goal is to navigate the human legion of ignoramuses each morning and evening without making a trip to the body shop or hospital.  So in ascending order of malfeasance, here's my list of the Top 6 Driving Idiots.

10 things you should know before visiting Nashville

I've lived in Middle Tennessee 23 years, since 1990.  Next year (2014), my Tennessee total will constitute half of my life, since I'll be 48 then.  So while I'm not a native, I've been around here long enough to be dangerous. Over the…

That first step is a doozy

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Well, you can't say it hasn't been an interesting week. Tuesday morning, March 26, I was awakened not by my alarm clock, but by three mini-ninjas creeping into our quite-dark bedroom and pile-driving me to the strains of "Happy Birthday."…