Tag Archive for: Crossfit

My Top 12 Reasons Why I Hate CrossFit, Version 2.0

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This is the podcast version of my most popular blog post to date, written seven years ago this month. I've updated it to reflect my current situation, but all the good stuff is still there. If you either love CrossFit, love to make fun of CrossFit, or just love to make fun of anything, you'll enjoy it.

The Top 10 Reasons I Might Not Work Out Today

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People have all kinds of excuses for not working out. I mean, there are thousands of them, take your pick. They are usually weak, baseless, transparent, laughable, and just plain ol' lame. In fact, I wrote a blog about them a while back. (Read…

Seventy-seven? No way.

When I began writing this blog two years ago, my only objective was to provide myself an outlet to write whatever I felt like.  It was certainly not to provide a source of inspiration to people, but somehow, that's what's been happening. But…

Is Crossfit a “white people fad”?

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A few days ago, I received this response to my blog, "The Top 12 Reasons Why this 47-Year-Old HATES Crossfit." While it seemed like a strange comment for that particular blog, I thought it was a fair question. Who wants to respond…

Top 5 Passage-of-Time Discrepancies Related to Crossfit

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I think I may actually be a science genius. I make this bold statement because I've taken notice of a strange discrepancy in the natural laws of time and space.  There are some activities in life, I've deciphered using scientific method,…

Burpees or back surgery: you decide!

My back hurts. As I write this, I'm shifting around in my office chair to find a comfortable position, because couple of hours ago, I completed a Crossfit WOD (workout of the day) that involved a bunch of deadlifts.  It's funny that…

Top 9 reasons why I should be the ‘Face of Crossfit’ instead of Rich Froning

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So Froning is essentially the “Face of Crossfit." The Reebok/Crossfit people must be living charmed lives, because Froning is handsome, articulate, funny, and by all accounts, a very nice guy. However, I’ve given this some serious thought, and I’ve come to the conclusion that I, Mark Johnson, would be a better “Face of Crossfit" than Mr. Froning. Here are the top 9 reasons why.

A Write Smart hits 100K!

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Well, I’ve got a right smart of friends, and this proves it!  Thanks to an incredible community of über-creative readers who enjoy hard workouts, great writing (not mine, necessarily), a little satire (mostly mine), and laughing their…

Trail run – 1, Johnson – 0

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I awoke one Saturday morning in September, rolled over, grabbed my phone, and checked the Crossfit workout of the day. "I ain't doing that #*$%," I believe were my first words of the day. I'm not proud of the language nor do I condone…

Top 12 reasons why this 47-year-old HATES Crossfit

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After nearly three years in, I have a love/hate relationship with Crossfit. It's mostly hate. The majority of my 47 years were blissfully Crossfit-free, and I lived out my days happy and free of the dread associated with upcoming workouts and the soreness associated with past workouts.  It was all good.  (Except for the whole fat, weak, undisciplined, out-of-shape, crappy-quality-of-life part of it.)