Entries by Mark Johnson
Talking is hard
Human existence is nothing if not bizarre. To illustrate this, I have recently completed recording my second audiobook, “Blow the Man Down,” due for release in a few weeks. Just typing those words is exceptionally odd. Two audiobooks! Only eighteen months ago, I hadn’t written any books at all, let alone two, and now I’ve […]
For a creative boost, take a saunter!
Is being creative on a regular basis part of your job description? Yes? Sucks to be you. Don’t get me wrong. There’s no greater joy — to me, anyway — than creating something today that wasn’t there yesterday, whether it’s a song, a story, a book, or whatever. It results in a huge rush of […]
My Top 8 Reasons Why Clark Griswold is the Quintessential Doofus Dad
As is tradition — mine and everyone else’s — I recently watched “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” again for the 1,824th time. Watching a movie or TV show repeatedly like that has its pros and cons. The main con is that you already know what’s going to happen. Same for the main pro, simply because of […]
Readers of the lost art
The 12-year-old who is grounded from his iPad: I’m bored. There’s literally nothing to do. Me: There’s a hundred great books in this house. Pick one. The 12-year-old: But, Dad, reading isn’t any fun. I have to read in school; why would I want to do that at home? Me: *bangs head against wall until […]
11 awesome reasons why you should embark on an adventure travel trip as soon as possible
The concept of “adventure travel” is a relatively recent trend that is gaining in popularity among Americans. It is loosely defined as a trip to an exotic locale where at least part of your agenda involves physical activity like hiking, climbing, scuba diving, or swimming vigorously immediately prior to being eaten by a crocodile that […]
You’re gonna screw up. It’s OK.
I originally wrote this for a professional association I’m a member of, but I think you’ll like it, too. Modified slightly. You dread it. You do everything possible to avoid it, take every precaution and all the right steps. But one day it will happen. You screw up. Or something you’re responsible for (in […]
A Walmart horror story
The man felt weak. Exhausted. Artificial light radiated down from twenty feet above, sucking his life force away and dispersing it harmlessly among the dusty rafters of the enormous building. He propped his forearms on the curved handle of the shopping cart, trying to position his weight such that the metal, wheeled cage would support […]