Don’t be an elitist; It’s unbecoming

Lately, I’ve become weary of elitists.  If you’re one, I’m weary of you and I think I need you to go away for a while.  But I’m going to assume that you’re not one, so you can stay.  Go ahead and sit back down.

What’s my definition of an elitist?  Somebody that, because of their education or upbringing or experience, believes that all of us couldn’t possibly be right and theirs can only be the only correct option, opinion, or course of action.

Here’s a hypothetical example:  Let’s say I’m a writer who has been trained by the top schools money can buy, maybe Oxford or Harvard or somewhere like that.  I’ve earned a master’s degree in English and another in literature and creative writing.  Good for me!  I’ve worked hard, made good grades, done well on tests, and now have a bunch of initials behind my name.

By contrast, you are a pharmaceutical sales rep who barely squeaked by college with a bachelor’s degree in business.  In addition to servicing your sales territory, you enjoy writing a blog for fun and to try to entertain your wife.  Before you know it, thousands of people are reading your blog on a daily basis because it’s funny and it’s stuff they can relate to.  Soon, publishers have approached you to write a book, and readers are clamoring for it.  People are calling you a “writer,” which you think is hilarious and ironic, and you keep producing material.  You have become famous.

On the other hand, I’m teaching English classes at an area community college and also writing a daily blog of high literature and philosophy.  Three people read my blog, and they all happen to be in my own family.  However, I am fulfilled by my core group of other classically trained writers, and we enjoy looking really cool and creating reams of literature that will unnoticed except by my Aunt Bernadette, who thinks I’m a genius.

Am I happy for the famous blogger?  No way.  Do I respect his goofy little stories?  Uh, no.  Do I respect his opinions?  HELL no.  How could I?  The guy knows nothing about writing, he has no credentials, and he has brainwashed two million stupid people.  He’s only achieved his station in life through underhanded, unethical, or downright illegal means.  Because of my education and training, MY opinions carry much more value than his.

You get the idea.  In this example, I’m obviously The Elitist.

So why am I blathering on about this?  Because more and more often,  I’ve found that two of my favorite health and fitness-related entities — Crossfit and AdvoCare — are besieged by these folks.  It’s unbecoming and unnecessary.

Here are my Top 5 Qualities of an Elitist.

5. Arrogance.  Honestly, numbers 4-1 all fall within the umbrella of arrogance.  The Elitist is so certain of his own conclusions, he won’t entertain the possibility of any others, and in most cases, won’t entertain or even investigate others.  He will never threaten his self-perceived coolness by agreeing with the ignorant masses.

4. Purveyor of double standards. He ceases to accept science and educational credentials as soon as they cease to support his argument or opinion.

3. Discourager.  He is a “hope dasher.”  People, have we learned nothing from “The Shawshank Redemption”??  Morgan Freeman became a “dasher” when he said “Hope is a dangerous thing.”  But it was Hope that drove Tim Robbins through that sewer pipe.

2. Agnostic.  In most cases, he is a non-believer in anything that requires faith of some kind.  This is obviously because The Elitist can’t admit that something he doesn’t understand might actually work.

1. Skeptic.  Accepting the idea that a whole lot of unqualified people may have it right and he may have it wrong is, well, unacceptable.  Instead of concluding that something is popular — like Crossfit and AdvoCare — because it works and bring joy and hope, he is convinced that those things are popular because of some type of mass hysteria or because we’ve all been deceived or are victims of a communal Jedi mind trick.  Folks, it’s smart to start out a skeptic.  But when faced with the truth, it’s rather stupid to remain a skeptic.

A synonym for “elitist” may be “hater,” and I don’t understand why we must have so many in our culture today.  Mr. Hater, if a 40-year-old non-athletic dad with a bad back makes the incredible leap of faith to walk into a Crossfit box and do his awkward best, that is cause for applause, not for criticism.  Might he injure himself during a WOD?  Sure.  But I can give you a dozen other ways he may injure himself simply moving through life.  A few years ago, a good friend of mine fell off a ladder while hanging an American flag, impaled his leg on the limb of a bush, and bled to death.  This doesn’t mean we should all stop hanging American flags, does it?

And if an overweight elementary schoolteacher chooses to change the course of her life — if only in a small way — by undertaking an AdvoCare 24-Day Challenge, who are you to roll your eyes and tell her it won’t work?  It could lead to 100 pounds lost — a feat I’ve witnessed with my own eyes — and a confidence she could’ve never dreamed of.  The only certainty is that as long as she changes nothing, nothing will change.

These are people who are making positive steps that may require a measure of courage that goes beyond anything you’ve ever mustered, Mr. Elitist. Maybe you should trade criticism for support and condescension for encouragement.

There.  I feel better.  We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.