“Mad Max” meets “Chariots of Fire”

Holly and I after last year’s Warrior Dash.

This morning (Sept. 22) at 11:30, Holly and I will, for the second consecutive year, tackle a Warrior Dash “mud run,” this one in Manchester, Tenn.  The Dash is a 5K trail run that is rudely interrupted by 13 ugly obstacles — several of which require crawling through various incarnations of mud — alongside some 600 fellow Warriors.  Thirty minutes later, another 600 go until some 30,000 have thoroughly dirtied themselves.

There are climbs up cargo net towers, leaps over wrecked cars and fire pits, careful treks across balance beams, and lots of barbed wire to navigate.  Think of it as a combination of “Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome” and “Chariots of Fire.”  There is a concert stage at the finish line, and with thousands of mud-encrusted, turkey-leg gnawing and beer guzzling Warriors milling about as electric guitars drown out any attempts at conversation, the whole shebang morphs into Woodstock meets “Conan the Barbarian.”

Strangely, no one is forcing us to take part in this debacle.  We didn’t lose a bet and we’re not being punished by the authorities.  On the contrary, we paid a substantial amount of our hard-earned cash for the opportunity.

For folks in our early- to mid-40s, I realize we’re slightly long in the tooth by most standards to be embarking upon such an absurd activity.  Probably 75 percent of the participants will be 15 to 20 years our junior.

But that’s precisely what makes it so cool.

We’re running the Warrior Dash because we can.  We’ve impolitely refused to turn in our Young Adult ID card, and, personally,  I haven’t spent all this time jogging up and down these suburban streets for nothing.  If I’m presented with an opportunity to crawl through mud, scale wooden obstacles, and run across wrecked cars — and it doesn’t involve fleeing from a rabid grizzly bear or trying to catch my 5-year-old before he pees on the neighbor’s daylillies  — I’m going to take it, by golly.

It’s the children in us that make this a world of wonder.  Shouldn’t we practice acting like kids before we can’t remember how?

That said, please say a little prayer for us at 11:30…